I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
