I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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