You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Randomize
