Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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