Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
