there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
