After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
