You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Randomize