it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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