Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
is this the sara with the beer cane?
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
