ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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