Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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