I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
