i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
they need to just BURY HIM!
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
3 2 1 whiskey
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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