stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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