R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
