Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
