Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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