So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
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