He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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