I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Randomize
