So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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