Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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