i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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