Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
