Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
