Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
