This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize