I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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