Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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