I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
When are your genitals available?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
