Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
