Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Randomize
