just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
drinking out of a sandbucket again
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
