Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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