Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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