what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
