Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
