What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
