Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
