where am i from again
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
