I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
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