All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
