drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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