It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
ttyl tear gas
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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