fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
