whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
