I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Randomize
