cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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