She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
