Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
